Surrealestate.

I love houses. Far too much of my free time is spent perusing the real estate section of the newspaper here in Midwestania.

Through personal experience, I have learned that choosing a real estate agent is an important undertaking, one that requires more than a modicum of trust. The agent is a marketer, their product your home. Some agents make for better marketers than others. The very worst make for good reading.

So imagine, if you can, my girlish glee when I stumbled across the below agent description of a gorgeous home in a desirable area. I would buy this house were I in the market, if for no other reason than to meet the author of this tasty prose:

“THE LIVING ROOM IS VERY OPEN THAT LEADS TO THE FORMAL DINING ROOM. THE KITCHEN HAS BEEN UPDATED WITH NICE WOOD CABINETS AND GREAT COUNTER TOPS AND A WONDERFUL VIEW OF THE BACK YARD. THE SECOND STORY FEATURES THREE BEDROOMS AND TWO BATHS ONE OF THE BEDROOMS IS A MASTER SUITE! SWEET!! THE THIRD LEVEL OF THIS GREAT HOME HOUSES A FOURTH BEDROOM OR A KIDS PLAYROOM. SPORTS FANS THIS IS A LOT OF HOUSE FOR THE CHA-CHING!!!DONT DELAY OR SHE WILL BE MAD AT YOU! YOU KNOW WHO I'AM TALKING ABOUT!!”

I don't know who this person is talking about. I want more, though.