Coming Soon (Or Not), Vol. I

Huckleberry's "CAKE IT!" :30 TV

OPEN on a slow pan around a tabletop breakfast plate. Except it’s not really a plate. It some sort of rough wood plank.
CAMERA comes over the top of a mountain of eggs and reveals a vast bounty of glistening breakfast foodstuffs.

ANNC (a gruff male voice tinged with a Southern accent and a nip of mornin' whiskey):
“Now at Huckleberry’s, our famous Homestyle RanchHand Breakfast Slabs are coming with a side order…OF FUN!”

(SFX: birthday horn)

SUDDENLY, from above, a large, multilayered pink, blue and white birthday cake hammers into frame. It drops next to the breakfast Slab, quivering. Its candles are lit. The top reads “CAKE IT!”

ANNC: “That’s right. For a limited time, order any RanchHand Slab and you can CAKE IT for less than a sawbuck.”

Quick CUT to a MAN dining in a booth. He wears a butcher’s apron smeared with various unthinkables.

MAN: “CAKE IT!”

CUT to a small WOMAN in lumberjack garb as she beholds her meal.

WOMAN: “CAKE IT!”

CUT to a frosting-smeared DOG, a Retriever, as it hungrily eats cake beside its blind owner who gropes about for his food.

DOG: (bark!)

CUT back to steaming tabletop as breakfast items are identified.

ANNC: “Oh, you’ll still get four cooked-to-order eggs, seven pieces of Chickisaw County Boar Bacon, a sausage chub, French toast, a sizzlin’ ham steak and a soda or milkshake”

CUT an older man sits at a booth, fork and knife at the ready, as a cake drops on his table. We can feel its sheer weight on impact.

OLDER MAN: “Happy birthday to ME!”

He digs in sans utensils. Graphics come up over his onslaught.

ANNC: “Don’t fake it- CAKE IT! Start your day the Huckleberry’s way- with a rich, hearty birthday cake for only $.99!”