Formulas: The Name Edition

Your “Porn Star” Name
Your childhood pet’s name + The street you were born on

Your “Science Fiction Author” Name
Your first name sans the first letter + The type of car your grandfather drove in 1980.

Your “Senator’s Wife” Name
The last soda brand you consumed + The high school you attended. Use the first word of the name if your high school had more than one.

Your "Mafia" Name
Call a local construction company and ask to speak to the foreman. Foreman’s first name + The name of a jarred tomato brand. NOT canned, jarred. This is essential.

Your "Gomez" Name
Your first name + Gomez

Your "19th Century President" Name
The street you were born on + The street you live on. If these are the same, you must stop carving gnomes out of candle wax and move out of mom’s basement. Then use the name of the street the homeless shelter is on as your last name.

Your "Monkey" Name
Take the first two letters of your first name. Double them - Your last name.