Answering The Tough Questions, Vol. I.

Vol I.

The Tough Question: Is Big Bird male or female?

The Answer: MALE

Four attempts resulted in conclusive proof.

Attempt One:

Only men wear ties.
Big Bird wears a tie.
Big Bird is a man.
-but-
K.D. Lang wears a tie.
K.D. Lang is a woman.

Attempt Two:

The male possesive is "he/his"
Big Bird's contemporaries refer to BBird in the possessive sense using "he/his"
Big Bird is a man.
-but-
BBird's contemporaries are primarily puppets.
Puppets are idiots and are not to be trusted.

Attempt Three:

All male puppets are voiced by men.
Big Bird is voiced by a man.
Big Bird is a male puppet (thus: Big Bird is male).
-but-
A puppet is a representational figure manipulated by a puppeteer.
Big Bird is described as a "full-body costume partially assembled by company American Plume & Fancy Feather," not a puppet in the strict sense.
Strict sense is the best sense.
Big Bird is not a puppet.

Attempt Four:

Girl puppets and not-quite-puppets wear earrings and/or pretty little bows.
Big Bird doesn't wear any of that crap.
Big Bird is not a girl.
SO...

Big Bird is a man.

That settles that.