The Weather.

Let's discuss the weather, shall we?

It's getting colder here in the "Methbasket Of America" and winter is just around the corner. It makes a man want to think about the holiday season. This applies to me as well. With that in mind, I present a holly-jolly holiday piece written last year.

HOLIDAY DISHES INSPIRED BY TURDUCKEN WITH SERVING SUGGESTIONS.

PHESARUAB
A tender young squab stuffed inside a juicy partridge, then placed within a mouth-watering pheasant. Serving suggestion: Place a hat on the pheasant. Call it “The Grand Duke”.

TURX! XTREME TURKEY
A wild turkey crammed into an even wilder turkey, slammed full of pop rocks and Mountain Dew. Serving suggestion: Shout constantly. Wear snowboarding goggles.

TURDUCKHAM
A luscious chicken inserted into a fat duck, then placed inside a roasted pig. Note: The pig should be chewing spearmint gum. For flavor. Serving suggestion: Bring a pack of spearmint gum to the table post-meal. Say something like, “Hey! Who stole a piece of my gum?” Act surprised to find it in the pig’s mouth.

NAUGHTY CURSTACHAFF
A churlish little chiff-chaff smoked and inserted into a delectable starling, then slotted into the cavity of a naughty, naughty curlew. Serving suggestion: Spank the bird before carving.

EMLINBOB
18 fresh young bobwhites inserted into the respective cavities of 6 succulent francolins, then lovingly placed inside an emu. Serving suggestion: Obscure the emu’s adorable face. That just makes things easier.

RUSSIAN NESTING PIGS
Just like those Russian nesting dolls, but replace “dolls” with “pigs” and “Russian” with “roasted”. Serving suggestion: Everyone loves those furry Russian hats.